6 Surefire Ways to Pull Yourself Out of a Funk

I was 34 weeks pregnant sitting with one of my friends and she asked me, "Elyse, what is your biggest fear about becoming a mom?"

Here she expected me to talk about labor and delivery or maybe the sleepless nights or you know, the fact that I'll be raising a little human in this crazy world.

Nope.

Without missing a beat, I instantly replied, "Getting frumpy."

It was seriously what was keeping me up at night.

Am I going to totally lose myself in mommyhood? I pictured spending day in and day out with baby and no time to nourish my inner free bird.

So now, here I sit, with an almost one year old.
Did I dodge the frumpy life or did it get me?

I guess I could say yes to both of those. There were times I was most definitely so far in the pits I thought I'd never get out and then there were days, even weeks, where I was running on a mommy ass-kickin' high.

When I'm in a funk or feelin' frumpy I have to consciously choose how to spend my days.. choose to do what could pull me up when I feel myself slippin' into endless unwashed hair and a Netflix marathon of Friends. 

Oh! And you definitely don't need to be a mom to get into a funk -- all it takes is the routine of the adult life sometimes . A routine that MUST be shaken up every so often.

So alright, these are my musts musts.

1. MUSIC - MUSIC - MUSIC

I seriously had to get real with myself and turn off the damn TV because it turns me into an unhappy zombie to binge watch shows. I get sucked in so easy. Oh geeze, it's 2pm already and I've done nothing productive today.
Sometimes, it's nice for ONE day but not multiple days in a row.. at least not for me! I don't do well with that.
MUSIC just makes me feel happy and alive and I love hearing an old song that I haven't heard forever but LOVE. I love to dance and sing and jam and it just makes me really happy. So maybe you too?
CCR Pandora usually has me covered -- or I'll throw on my Island Vibes playlist on Spotify!

Make a kickass Spotify playlist of all your feel good tunes and let it lift you UP! 

2. Make Art

I struggled with what to make number one, this is such a close second. Don't let your creativity die, EVER. Make art, in some way shape or form, somehow, someway. Write, knit, draw, dance... take pictures! Whatever you have to do to keep that spark, do it... you don't even need to share with anyone ever, just do it... for you, for your soul!

3. MOVE

There are no rules attached to this one... no time commitment, no specific routine. Just MOVE in some way shape or form. Go for a walk -- that usually always works. Get on your Yoga mat. When you turn on that music from number one, dance. I've been dancing a lot, in the living room with a gawking one year old lookin' at me like I'm totally crazy but still, I dance. Find something that makes you feel GOOD (not punished) and do it for 5 minutes, or 10 minutes, or 30 minutes. Whatever you CAN do for however long you CAN do it. DO IT. 

4. GO

Number four is a tad bit aimed at my mom friends, specifically my stay-at-home mom friends... and maybe you don't do this at all... but maybe you do. But - don't let too many days go by without leaving the house. You've got to go. And for me, two days at the house is too many, and three for sure so find something that is out of home and do it. GO.

5. Connect

Connect with others. I don't know about you but when I'm in a funk I tend to sort of keep to myself. I keep to myself to a fault. I know that each of us has that someone in our life that we can connect with -- be it your partner at the day's end, a phone call to your sister, a meet up with your mama (mama's always make things better) -- tell someone you love you're feeling funky and TALK to them. It helps. I know it.

6. PAMPER

Lastly, I asked my Earthen Women group a while back... what do you do to get out of a funk? This is a collective of their response: Make yourself feel good/pretty. Polish your nails your favorite color. Get your hair cut. If you don't normally, try putting on a little makeup or lip gloss. If it's in the budget, get a massage. SHOWER + shave (your WHOLE leg - haha) or even take a bath. Dress up in that thing you love but you're saving. You don't need to be extravagant (or hey, if you can/want to - then be extravagant. You're worth it.).

Alright, I think that's it for me. Do you do one of these already? What one do you agree with the most? If you're favorite's not here, please please share. I'd love to know.

Also, I should say that sometimes for me it just feels good to put the PJs on and be a slug on the couch and sometimes we need just that. Just not for prolonged periods of time, ya know. It's all about listening to your inner wisdom. She knows.

Alright, so have an amazing year you guys!
I hope it's filled with golden moments and less funks. I'll be here, always! xo

Searching for the Answer

"I would seriously cut off my pinky toe for some alone time. Seriously. Even just TWO DAYS." I dramatically whine to my husband over the phone.

He's about half way through his work trip on the East Coast and he's homesick for his family.

I see him there, staying at a nice hotel in DC, and I'm not going to lie, I'm jealous.

He wakes up, works out, gets a coffee, heads to the conference where he discusses important things with important people (adult conversations!) and gets to eat a tasty dinner at a lively restaurant before bed.

Damn right I'm jealous!

I've been stuck in an endless cycle of feeding baby, changing diapers, picking up dog poop while trying to keep up with the house.

It's been over a month since I've been anywhere without my 9 month old.

Now here's where things get funny.

My husband, well, you see, he's jealous.

He misses his boys and his wife. He see's my snaps of our son trying to walk and talk. As we FaceTime Thomas George is learning to clap and giggles while I kiss his toes. I tell Tom how intense his son's determination is as he tries to swim in the pool and we laugh, Finn nuzzled on my lap.

All he wants is his family.
All I want is some space.

FREAKIN' LIFE RIGHT.

So it got me thinking about always wanting what we can't have, the whole grass is always greener thing.

I'll never forget a Tony Robbins video I watched years ago, I'll do my best to paraphrase, he said that the biggest source of unhappiness is being in one place (location or situation) and wanting to be somewhere else.

Oh goodness, I can be so guilty of this. For someone who has studied mindful living and who has spent hours on a Yoga mat, you think I'd have a better handle on it. Patience is not my strong point and it's something I'll be working on until the end of time.

And, yes, it's good to have dreams and direction for what you want out of life and of course there are certain situations that should be left promptly... but generally speaking, living outside of the now can surely rob you from being happy.

There's got to be a healthy balance and I suppose since I'm writing this post I should offer up some sort of advice but this is something I'm still figuring out. An answer that I'm still searching for.

Is the key to happiness presence or gratitude?
Is acceptance the answer?

Maybe it's.... perspective.

I'm not sure right now. All I do know is that all we can do is our best and we've just got to keep truckin' no matter what. We've got to be grateful for what we do have because when you stop to really think about it, it's a lot.

Second Trimester -- Pregnancy Diary Part 4

19 weeks, just about 1/2 way there! 

Throughout the first trimester, I felt like... total shitty shit. Everyone said I would start feeling better once we reached the second trimester.
So as week 12 approached I got excited.. I was SO ready to feel good again!

- Week 12 came and went... so did week 13 and 14. I was still nauseous and could barely eat.
Finally as I hit week 15, I began to feel like a human again. What a relief... I was really starting to worry... and I just really missed FOOD.

- We decided to wait until the second trimester to tell the world, I have to admit, I was so excited for this. I couldn't WAIT to share that we were having a baby... to tell friends near and far. That'll always be the most fun for me.

- As for my energy level, I was still tired... a lot... BUT like they say, I did have bursts of energy from 15 weeks on - mainly in the morning - which was really nice and much needed. 

- I touched my stomach. A lot. My hands were always resting on my growing belly and I thought about being pregnant, ALL DAY LONG. It went a little something like this -- "I am pregnant. I'm going to have a BABY. I am growing a human, in my womb, right now. Amazing. Unbelievable. A baby."

- We had been living in a studio since we moved to Hawaii in 2015. It was perfect for the two of us and we never really needed more space... until now! We moved from our studio to a two bedroom during the second trimester. Hubs had quiet the workload but I was definitely helping out as best I could. We were really just happy to get into something a big bigger as we were expecting a lot of visitors once baby arrived!

- The beginning of the bump! My belly was growing. By the middle of the second trimester, there was no mistaken, I was a pregnant lady!

- We still hadn't purchased anything for baby yet. We were starting to receive gifts though. Little did I know that was just the beginning!

- GENDER REVEAL!! I kept going back and forth. I really thought it was a girl but could only picture a baby boy. Tom always thought it was a boy. 
We did our big gender reveal party during the second trimester.. it was SO FUN! I wanted a girl and I wanted a boy so I knew I'd be happy either way.
Auntie Coco took the envelope, she was the first person to know the sex! She filled a big black balloon with confetti and we all gathered at mom and dads house. The anticipation was nuts!
Watching Tom throw a fist pump into the air when we were showered in blue will not be something I'll forget. We began connecting with baby in a new way, it's a BOY!!!

- Oh the boobs. The boobs continued to grow during the second trimester and I really LOVE them. :D

- Water. I'm drinking all the water all day, everyday. I read something early on saying that the more water you drink the better and healthier your pregnancy will be -- so I went full steam ahead with hydroflask after hydroflask. I'm currently skipping all coffee and I'm the weird pregnant lady that doesn't miss alcohol in the least bit. 

- NAMES! It was nice being able to focus on boy names. Naming a baby isn't easy. We started throwing ideas around but hadn't decided full on anything yet. 

- I'm still the nap queen, not big into exercise. I could seriously sleep all day and wonder often how people have a second child? How do you care for a baby and grow another baby? My bed is my best friend and I sleep a lot. 

- The round ligament pain started in the first trimester and revved up good in the second trimester... what a weird feeling!! Amazed at my changing and shifting body -- it truly is a miracle!

- I really expected to feel baby move week 14/15 and waited patiently for him to do so... and nothing. I thought way too much but couldn't really tell if it *was* a movement or if it was just in my head. By week 20 there was no mistaken.. I have a boxing son in my belly and once he started really moving, he didn't stop. To me it felt like little bubbles or tiny tapping... tap, tap, tap. I love it. This is one of my favorite parts!

- I've always heard people complain about others touching their belly.. I didn't mind in the least bit! I loved letting people touch my belly and feel for baby. For the most part baby kicked and moved until someone placed their hand on my stomach, then he stopped. Almost every time but I let everyone try! He loves moving for daddy though!!

- I inspected my stomach every single week for stretch marks, nothing yet!

- At week 24 I bought my first maternity clothes. I just went to target and got a couple cute dresses and a couple ugly dresses. I wish I wouldn't have waited so long! Maternity clothes felt so much better!

- Pretty much went to bed at 8:30 every night. Sometimes 9 if we were feelin' pretty wild. Pregnancy makes you crazy! LOL

- I've been eating pretty healthy but I really really love my dark chocolate salted carmel bar from Whole Foods. I keep it in the freezer and eat one square to a half a bar every single day. No one says anything about it when you're pregnant -- might as well eat it UP.

- Once I hit that 25 week mark I really started feeling big. Toward the end of my second trimester I couldn't sleep on my belly anymore. It's one of worst things about being pregnant for me! Having to sleep on my side and heave myself in and out of bed. OY.

- We still hadn't set up a nursery at all or purchased anything for baby. We weren't too worried about it... which looking back makes me laugh! What were we doing? LOL

- After doing a lot of reading, I started writing up my birth plan during the second trimester. 

- I had my gestational diabetes test and passed. Thank goodness. I wasn't a fan of drinking that crap but I did it and it's done. Good deal.

- At the end of week 27 I had gained 13 lbs. since my first appointment. I was surprised I didn't gain more because my body had changed so much. Tom said I just lost all my muscle... what a stinker. 

Baby is the size of a: PEACH
Length & weight: 8 3/4 in. & 1.5 lbs.
Mama's cravings: Didn't crave specific foods -- just warm and cold things. Still not the biggest appetite but it's slowly coming back!
Weight update: Gained 13 lbs. so far!
We're feeling: BIG. Excited. The half way point is so freaky, it gets more and more real! 
Highlight of the first trimester: Getting to share with the world and of course, finding out we had a boy on the way!
Energy levels: Still a slug for the most part but starting to do some walking!
Habits: Still doing my legs up the wall every night... continuing with the prenatal vitamin. Keeping a weekly journal about all the changes. Early to sleep. Lots of water. 

Priceless Moments // Photos by Jessica Holleque

Everyone always tells you how fast time goes once you have a baby.

I remember towards the end of my pregnancy the days felt so incredibly long. It was like I was going to be pregnant forever and all I wanted to do was meet him.

Then he arrived and the first three months of his life felt even longer. The endless cycle of nurse, change, eat, sleep, repeat.

And then BOOM, just like that, he turned 6-months old.

My pregnancy had come and gone. Those first few months, a memory.

Deep down I know every moment is fleeting.

I know that my 6-month old will soon be one year, then he'll be two and before I know it he'll be starting school.

We have a lot of living to do from now until then and I know it's going to go fast. 

That's why I am so determined to document our life.

I can't hold on forever but with these photos come memories that will last a lifetime.

---

Jessica is an incredible photographer. I've been a fan of her work for a long time. There's so much truth and aliveness to her photos. Once I had Thomas George, I knew we had to get on the other side of her camera.

It's wild because I've actually known Jessica since we were really young. Our mothers were close friends while we were growing up and her family is sprinkled in many of my earliest memories. How cool for us to be reconnecting in this way!

My sister Leah and niece Coco joined us for a warm summer evening in St. Paul, Minnesota. Our babes did so good during the entire session and our images turned out better than I could have imagined. Honestly, I can't wait to do this again.. next time with the hubby too!

As things change and our children grow, I will truly treasure each moment -- precious and priceless.

All photographs taken by Jessica Holleque.
You can find more of her work below: 
Facebook | Instagram | Web

Thomas George // 7-months-old

Tom George turns 7 months old tomorrow.

Gosh he's changed so much this month.

He's crawling on all fours, he got his two bottom teeth, he pulls himself up every possibly moment he can, sits up like he's been doing it for ages and he loves to eat.

The sun starting to creep into the bedroom early yesterday morning. As the light flooded our room I ran to grab my camera. This boy was crazy on the move and it wasn't even 7am yet!

Too early, mom.

My absolute favorite part of the day is going to get Mr. happy boy after he wakes up. He is SILLY and he knows it. We play for a good 20 minutes before we leave his room. I sing, I roll, we peek-a-boo, I dance...  anything to make him laugh. His laugh is everything.

Since he started to pull himself up last week, every time I go in his room, he's standing... and he's proud of it!

Two bottom teeth! 

Raspberries at mom!

Oh my curious little muffin. So interested... fascinated by the world around him. He has to touch, taste and ok I'll be honest, destroy everything he touches. He wants to make noise, reach up to the top shelf, and play with anything that isn't really a toy. 

I love the way his eyebrows go down when he is concentrating hard. The way he raises them when mom is being silly. The way he smile grins when his daddy gets home from work... and the best is that cute little laugh he does when he sees the jar of food.

Thomas George.

We are so proud of you.

That Positive Test -- Pregnancy Diary Part 2

Honeymoon April 2016 -- Corniglia, Cinque Terre, Italy

"It's a boy!", said the mime as Tom and I were strolling by.

We were honeymooners, walking a cobblestone path through Venice.

He caught me off guard and I got offended! I know I had eaten an entire pizza and way too much gelato each day but did I look PREGNANT? 

Thanks a lot dude.

Tom and I joked about it because:
A. Mimes aren't even supposed to talk
B. I was definitely not pregnant

---

We got back from a magical 14 days in Italy.

As we adjusted back to being home, I just wasn't feeling the best. "Jet lag," I thought.
"Too much pizza and gelato, maybe. I'm not used to eating like that."

BUUUUUT .... it wasn't going away. So I bought a pregnancy test.

It was a lazy Saturday morning and we were putzing around the house when I decided to take it.

I unwrapped the stick, peed and quickly set it on the bathroom sink. I went and laid on the bed thinking over and over again, "No way, just... no way."

I sent Tom in first. He didn't have to say anything because when I saw his jaw drop open with a look of complete shock, I knew. It was positive and our lives were never going to be the same.

We were going to have a baby.

---

I don't know about any of you other moms out there but I felt like the first woman in the world to ever see a plus sign on her pregnancy test.

I felt excited, nervous... like.. ok.... what do I do now?

Nothing had changed and yet it felt like everything changed.

It felt so wild.. but I'd soon find out that that is the only way to truly describe this whole experience. 

Wild.

---

Continue Reading...

The Pregnancy Diaries

Long Before Baby -- Pregnancy Diary Part 1

"I'm never getting married.", I said. And I meant it.

All throughout my teens and early twenties I was pretty set on never tying the knot. 

Having kids? Nope. It really didn't even cross my mind as a possibility for my life.

There were too many places to go, too many things to see and to be honest my motto was: I do what I want.

The untraditional felt best for me. I didn't want to just check boxes and I never wanted to do something a certain way just because that was how you are "supposed" to do it.

For the majority of my twenties, it was just me. Everything I owned fit into my car and I liked it like that! Life was good.

Theeeeeeen came Tom.

It was 2013, and I was finishing up school. I was ready to get out of Las Vegas and do something new. Having lived on Maui briefly, I always wanted to go back. Hawaii became my biggest dream.

I was doing my research on making my way back to the islands when I decided to reach out to Tom. We graduated high school together in 2006 and after school he lived on Maui for three years. He had returned to the mainland and was living in Arizona when I sent him a Facebook message.

"Hey Tom, it's been a while, hope all is well! I'm thinking of making my way out to Hawaii, just curious, why did you leave?"

He wrote me back and let me know he missed living there everyday. He gave me some really good insight and after reading his message I landed on his profile.

Tom was tall and so darn cute. He just got back from Europe! "What a cool dude.", I thought. He was running races, snowboarding and traveling all over. Hmm.

We wrote messages back and forth for a couple days just catching up... it had been 8 years since we graduated! Tom mentioned that he was going to be in Vegas THAT WEEKEND and asked if I wanted to grab lunch.

That was that. We went to lunch and I swear to you, that day, I knew I was going to marry him.

February 26th, 2013 -- Tom flew to Vegas to have lunch with me. Little did I know, two years later, he'd be my husband!

Falling in love with Tom was so easy. He made everything better. He was fun. He made me laugh like no one else in the world and he made me want to be the best version of myself.

I fell for Tom fast. (Who was I?!)  It was tough for me to let my guard down and yet I just trusted him. He loved me and I loved him, so much. 

When Tom got down on one knee a year and a half later, in Hawaii, I said yes. I don't think there was anything in the world I was more sure of. It is funny how things happen and it's funny how things change.

As for babies? It was a very distant thought although it strangely crossed my mind. We were both pretty unsure and there were no absolutes. When it came up we decided that would be a bridge we would cross WAY LATER. 

First, travel!

---

Thomas George -- Birth Story