Today I Turn 30
Today I turn 30 years old.
It's wild, really.
What a decade.
A wonderful, challenging and adventurous decade.
If I had to describe the past 10 years of my life with one word it would be discovery.
I've changed and evolved so much as a person. Grown, I suppose.
Not to get all groovy right away but when you think about it, honestly, getting older is such a gift. As I reach this significant age I don't feel worried or sad, regretful or upset. I actually feel quite the opposite. I'm excited -- ready -- it feels so fresh to me! Kind of like getting to start a new.
A brand new chapter.
As I think about the last 10 years, all the big stuff comes to mind. The highlights.
- The first thing, for sure, always -- the people. So many amazing people have shaped these years and honestly made them worth living. Strangers that have become family. My nut farm and friends, co-workers and acquaintances -- all of these relationships that have come to be with a little twist of fate. I appreciate and love them all more than anything else.
- The 8 different cities across 5 states (Minnesota, Nevada, Arizona, Texas and Hawaii) -- I've moved 14 times and we're making that 15th move in 2 days!
- An engagement and and a marriage. Something I never thought I'd do. (Love you more than anything, Tom!)
- I grew and birthed the cutest darn human alive, Thomas George. He's everything.
- When it comes to my job, I've lived many different lives. I've stood at the desk of Four Seasons, in the OR during surgery and behind the bar serving drinks. I've provided massage, cut hair and answered phones. Big companies like Zappos and Stryker to small offices and Yoga studios. I've been a cashier at Whole Foods and have spent so much time at the front desk I could do it with my eyes closed.
The hardest, most fulfilling position I've ever had though, is my current gig: full time MOM.
- I've traveled. My heart just wells up writing this because I love it so much. From New York to Colorado, Japan to Italy and a lot of places in between. I really really hope this is just the beginning!
- I quit smoking! (Honestly, I'm so proud of this).. and come to think of it, I stopped drinking too and that's been good for me right now.
- I had a pretty intense bucket list and for a big chunk of my early twenties I chipped away at it. Things like sky diving, surfing and learning how to wakeskate. I checked off some must see concerts like Jack Johnson, Jason Mraz, Bob Dylan, Tori Amos, Rebelution and the one and only Stevie Nicks. I ran a half-marathon, did a Ragnar Relay and lived in a yurt. I've taken a million and one classes on a million and one subjects and don't plan on stopping that anytime soon!
I'm sort of done with having a bucket list BUT I'll definitely stay curious and continue to try new things.
It's so fun to reflect on the highlights but they aren't all that made my 20s.
As think about it, some tough stuff comes to mind too. Would these be considered the lowlights?
All those moves and changes were exciting, but not always easy! Moving can suck. No other way to put it.
- In the past decade I've been broke, I've been lonely and I've been homesick. (Seriously)
- At one point, during my mid-twenties, I had stage three adrenal fatigue. Once I found out what was going on it took me well over a year to fully recover. That was by far the most challenging thing I've ever been through.
- When you change jobs like some people change their underwear you can feel a little bit like a failure. I felt it, I felt it a lot and often pondered what on earth I was doing with my life. (Still do wonder, just minus the failure part.)
- Speaking of failure... I failed. A lot. I had many ventures and ideas that just never saw fruition. I spent a lot of time and I spent a lot of money that ultimately felt wasted. (If you learn something, nothing is wasted, btw.)
- Lastly, I swear to you, I was my own worst critic. During my early 20s, I never felt smart enough or pretty enough or flexible enough or rich enough blah blah blah etc. etc. -- Oh my goodness, that is, by far, the greatest part of heading into my 30s. I feel so confident, or maybe it's that I just don't care what people think as much -- either way, it's freeing.
I hope in 10 years when I'm 40, I'm still blogging and taking pictures -- documenting life as a mom and wife, creative and traveler.
It's an empty slate and I don't need a wild life to fill it.
Just family, friends and an awareness of the beauty in every small moment.
Photograph by Jessica Holleque