Stop Feeling Bad About Changing Your Mind

Have you ever poured every bit of yourself into something to later change directions, deciding it was no longer for you?

Did that make you feel shitty? Confident? Excited? Shameful?

I’ve been there…many times.
And if you’ve ever put yourself out there, you’ve probably been there, too.

But if I’ve learned anything over this past decade of soul searching it’s this:

It’s OK to change your mind.

Let me say it again, louder.

It’s OK to change your mind.

You can correct course, or follow a new path, or change lanes, or stop and start again.

And if this decision only impacts you, you don’t need to explain yourself to anyone.

Someone recently made a comment to me... loosely along the lines of how many different things I’ve done over the years. How many times I’ve changed my mind… almost if to say, you’re changing your mind.. again?
It wasn’t meant to be mean at all, I mean I HAVE lived a very multi-passionate life at the ripe ol’ age of 31… but it did make me stop and cock my head, eyebrows down, as if to say, “Yes. SO. What’s your point?

I am always on the path of discovery and learning new things.
I’m being inspired daily by new thoughts and ideas…. And confidently so.

If I didn’t feel as bold as I do now, and this comment really got to me, then what?

I just stop doing anything at all?

Let myself be sucked into living in the safest way possible as not to ruffle anyones feathers?
Conform to make people comfortable or to ensure they think a certain positive way about me?

Oh my gosh just typing that sentence gets me all fired up.

Like ope, reached my try quota! Time to just sit down and do nothing!

It’s bullshit and I will not accept it.
No one should.

I don’t care if I fail 12 (hundred) times or if I change my mind 100 (thousand) times, I am STILL going to start again and I’m STILL going to be inspired again and no matter what.
And I’ll ALWAYS keep dreaming new dreams.

Give yourself time. Give yourself space. Maybe take a break to let the dust settle.

But if you feel it in your heart to maybe go back to school or start a business, or change your business or take a dance class or write or maybe even leave it all to go raise your babies… then do it.

But just promise me you’ll never stop pursing what makes you happy. Promise me you’ll never stop wanting to make a better world and lastly, promise yourself you’ll never make a decision based on someone else’s opinion no matter what that looks like for you.

What are you starting, trying or dreaming of? Leave a comment below to let me know.

You know me, I’ll be sharing it all on the blog so be sure to follow along.
And when I don’t have time to blog (I AM a mother of two littles) I’ll be creating over on instagram, so be sure to connect with me there!

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Interview : JoLynda Anderson, Doula | Birth & Soul

JoLynda Anderson, Birth & Soul

Support. Educate. Care.

I don’t think it’s a coincidence that JoLynda and I crossed paths. I believe so deeply in her work and it feels like a gift to share this interview with you!

We met on a chilly afternoon at the Grand Cafe in Minneapolis. The location felt perfect and the overcast weather made for some beautiful portraits. As with every photo session, I only wish we had more time to chat!

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Tell us about yourself. Who you are, where you’re from and what you do!

I’m JoLynda Anderson and I’m a mom, wife and doula. I’m a Minnesota native and I own and operate Birth & Soul, a Doula Service in the Twin Cities.

How did you get your start as a Doula? What brought you to this work?

I’ve always been interested in birth. The process of birth, the culture that surrounds it are all fascinating to me, even as a teen. I was often invited to attend births as a support person of family and friends. I had been urged to train as a doula, and even hired one for the birth of my son in 2014. I finally trained in 2015, and dove in full time. It felt like something I was always destined to do. It’s a calling that will find you.

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What is the best part about running your own business?

The best part of having your own business is watching something grow from small, humble beginnings. It’s always growing, expanding and evolving, and you get to see your efforts transform into big things. A little sweat and tears, and a lot of learning go very far!

What is the greatest challenge that you face?

As a doula, you are always on call. It takes a very supportive family and understanding friends to know that you are unreliable socially. You will miss things that matter to you and adjusting the mindset to knowing you won’t ever truly know your schedule can be overwhelming in moments.

When things get tough, where do you find inspiration to keep moving forward?

In the families I serve. I am so honored to be chosen to be a guide as they bring their little ones into the world. Every single family teaches me something new, challenges me and expands my heart for people. It is a big deal to be invited into a birthing space. You can never lose sight of that.

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Who is someone you admire the most and why?

My sister in law Lindsey. She is a successful M.D., mother of three, wife and generous human. She is so thoughtful and diligent in all her relationships and interactions and her heart is so full for people. She is a person that no matter who you are, or what you are going through, she will be mindful and considerate.
She is also so fun and hard working in every single role. She is probably the smartest person I’ve ever met, and incredibly humble. She can tell you what mysterious medical issue you have, how to fix your mindset about an issue, and listen like no other. If everyone would be more like her, this world would be amazing. She always looks flawless, but I know it is her dedication, attitude and faith.

Tell us about the future of Birth & Soul — what’s your vision? Go BIG, we want to root you on!

I would love to re-open a physical space again to serve families. I dream to train doulas in my philosophies of business and birth and eventually move into a roll that can support more families. It all comes down to building empowered parents. If our impact can expand to helping set up families to succeed and feel supported, it goes a long way for society. We have really lost the “village” of birth and parenting, and being a piece of that, there is always room to expand, grow and help more people.
I also would like to make doulas more accessible to all, and make the career a sustainable trade. I would love to have a bigger support network for birth workers, because the job can feel so isolating at times.

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Podcast you can’t get enough of:

Top 5 songs you keep on repeat:
Rise Up Andrea Day, 9-5 Dolly Parton, Shoop Salt & Peppa, Pray Sam Smith, Truth Hurts Lizzo

Your favorite social media platform:
Instagram - because I will always like your puppy and kid photos, vacations, and pictures of food! I also love the design and fashion inspiration. I’m a visual person.

How do you fuel for the day?

I start each day with an americano in bed. A good cup of coffee is my love language.
If I’m off to a birth, I skip that and have a whole routine, no matter what time! I put a pesto pizza in the oven, take a quick shower, fill a thermos with coffee, drink a glass of water and bring half my pizza with me, and the other half in the fridge to eat whenI get home.

Final words of wisdom to other’s out there building their business and brand:

Start with a plan and know that you need to do things the right way. It can be easy to dream, but leave space for the practical stuff, that isn’t as fun. Business plans, legal documents, financial planning are as important as your dream and drive. Be okay doing things differently than how it is always done in your field. Show gratitude to others that mentor you along the way. Find the people that are going to enthusiastically cheer for you, they will be the same people to lean on when you need encouragement. Get out there and build your best self.

If you have any questions or want to find out more about JoLynda, I’ve included a link to some of her social below.

Thank you JoLynda for your time and for doing what you do. It does take a village and I’m happy to have you now as part of mine.
FB: Birth & Soul
Instagram: Birth & Soul

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2018 in 36 photos // A Year of Change

… And exhale.

We made it through 2018.

There were times it felt like we’d never get through the year.

My pregnancy felt long.

The move felt, at times, impossible.

We started in Hawaii and spent a couple months in Arizona before finally landing back home in Minnesota.

I think we’ll talk about 2018 a lot as the years go by and it’s hard to believe it’s already a memory. I know for sure 2019 will be a bit more low key and I welcome that.

You know I’ll be here, documenting along the way.

Here’s a photo recap of 2018, choosing only three photos from each month. I completed my first 365 project and I couldn’t be more grateful for the year I chose to do so. I can’t wait to hold that book in my hands.

Many blessings my friends,



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December in Review | Exhale

… And exhale.

We made it through 2018.

There were times it felt like we’d never get through the year.

My pregnancy felt long.

The move felt, at times, impossible.

We started in Hawaii and spent months in Arizona before finally landing in Minnesota.

But we did it. We made it and now here I sit from our beautiful home with my two boys settling into life. It feels good.

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Our little Mikko Jam turned one month old. He’s just the best baby there ever was. It’s hard to believe he’s already here let alone a month old but I guess that’s just what babies do… grow so very fast.

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Our first Christmas in our home was pretty low key, exactly how we wanted it! I can only imagine Christmas getting more and more fun over the years as TG was just starting to get into it. Tom and I decided being the parent is the best. Looking forward to making our own family traditions over the years.

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I had the opportunity for some creative play this month, too, and I never say no to that. Photographer Jessica Holleque came over to my house to photograph my children and I for her Mothers and Makers project. Talking with her about art, family, life and motherhood was just the best. TG had a great time turning the kitchen floor into an art studio. Please check out her instagram to see her work!

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We spent the very end of the month surrounded with family and it provides the perfect reminder as to why we moved back in the first place. That’s what it’s all about and I wouldn’t have it any other way.

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2018 — a wild year. I just placed the last photo in my 365 book and I just can’t wait to send it to print. This project has meant so much to me… documenting the days. The years do go so fast.

Thank you for following along on the journey.

Wishing you all nothing but a New Year full of blessings, health and happiness.


November in Review | New Life


The month we’ve been waiting for all year!

A crazy month, a busy month — also, the month we welcomed our new little boy into the world.

I took my last official bump photo at exactly 38 weeks pregnant. I actually documented my bump starting at 8 weeks back in Hawaii. I never missed a photo, shooting every other week until he arrived! It’s so fun to look back on, it really seemed like I was pregnant forever!

38 weeks pregnant

38 weeks pregnant

We also got to experience our first snowy, cold Minnesota days. Honestly, it hasn’t been too bad because I haven’t left the house much. I’ve been totally and willingly hibernating and I wouldn’t have it any other way. TG loves being outside and I’m lucky enough to have a husband that enjoys it too! You can find me inside sippin’ hot cocoa watching a movie or putzing around my house!

Adores the snow and his daddy even more!

Adores the snow and his daddy even more!

On November 12th at 10:01am we welcomed our son Mikko James into the world. What an experience it was! I’m a birth story nerd and you can read all about Mikko’s HERE. It was much different than my first almost two years ago. You can read George’s story HERE.

Mikko James Jokinen | November 12th, 10:01am | 7lbs. 1 oz. 21in.

Mikko James Jokinen | November 12th, 10:01am | 7lbs. 1 oz. 21in.

Since Mikko’s arrival we’ve had plenty of visitors! My mother in law stayed with us for a week and a half (the best!), aunts, uncles, sisters, cousins and grandparents. Each visit reminds me of why I moved to Minnesota and makes me grateful that family is so close.

New life visitors

New life visitors

“40 weeks” holding a one week old Mikko James

“40 weeks” holding a one week old Mikko James

It’s been wonderful and tiring. Knowing how fast it goes gets me through the early morning hours. I wouldn’t trade this phase of life I’m in for anything… the best moments of my life as well as the most challenging. Motherhood… motherhood.

This right here is real life with a two week old

This right here is real life with a two week old

It’s been quite the adjustment for my little Thomas George. He’s doing the best he can and we’re doing the best we can to help him. It hasn’t been easy sharing the attention but I know it’s just another phase we’ll get through. He does better every single day. We sure do love this boy!

Thomas George, 23 months old

Thomas George, 23 months old

We are nearing the end of our 365 project. What a year it has been and I am so grateful to have been documenting it day by day. I’m part of a blog circle and this month it’s me and Laura.

Laura just had her third baby boy, so getting to travel this path together this year has been so fun. Please check out her post and incredible work!

I’ll see you guys next month. Many blessings, always!

Birth Story -- Mikko James

When I found out I was pregnant with my first, I read a million and one birthing books. I typed up and printed out a very solid birth plan. It was my greatest desire to have an unmedicated birth. If you’ve read his story, you know things didn’t go as planned that day. TG’s birth taught me so much about control, strength and surrender. His birth made me feel so strong but I also knew that when it came time to do it again, I’d want to do things differently.

When I started thinking about labor and delivery for baby number two, I decided to go in with the same exact birth plan. An unmedicated birth free from intervention was truly how I wanted to bring this boy into the world. This time, however, I knew if it got to be too much I had other options. Nothing was set in stone. I decided to play it by ear letting baby boy lead the way.. my job was to do the best I could. Nothing more, nothing less.

It was 7:30pm on November 11th when I felt my first faint contraction.

I had gone to my room just about an hour before to lay down and rest. I was 38+6, so when I felt some light cramping in my abdomen I didn’t think too much into it.

The cramping disappeared and returned — disappeared and returned. I laid in the dark room with my eyes closed feeling it all. Wondering. Preparing.

I walked downstairs to fill my water and told Tom that I might be having contractions but couldn’t be too sure.

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When I got back upstairs I pulled out my camera and took some photos in-between the waves before getting ready for bed.

If things were going to be different this time I knew I needed to rest.

I was tracking the light contractions on my phone and they were 7-10 minutes apart lasting anywhere from 30-50 seconds.

At 10:00pm I actually fell asleep tossing and turning pretty minimally. At 3:09am, though, I felt the first strong contraction and it lifted me right out of bed. I began tracking again for an hour and a half as they started to get stronger.

Finally at 4:30am I woke up Tom. Things were getting real. I was definitely in labor. I quickly texted my Aunt Peg to see if she could come over to be with TG. We had Tom’s mom flying in that afternoon but we were going to have to leave for the hospital a lot earlier than that!

At 6:50am we arrived at the Woodwinds birth center and I was on my way to triage for my IV by 7:00am. I had tested positive for group B strep (again) and needed to get on antibiotics right away.


I felt rested, everyone was lively and I was breathing through contractions consistently. I was so grateful it was morning and I got decent sleep the night before. I was also able to fuel with a big bowl of oatmeal before we left the house. Food and sleep felt so important to me this time around and so far so good.

At 7:20am I met the midwife Karen and she gently checked me for the first time. I was so curious to see how far I was dilated.

She asked Tom and I if we had any guesses.

“5cm?”, we said in unison.
The midwife laughed as she nodded her head.

We were right on.

Wow, I was already halfway there! I seriously couldn’t believe it!

It was official. I was in labor and we got the go to check in. It wouldn’t be long now.

When I had my first appointment at Woodwinds, I found out they had a water birth suite. One room available with a large tub that you could actually give birth in. When they asked if I was interested, I said absolutely so! I had read all about the benefits of a water birth and hoped when the day came the room would be available for me to use.


To our luck, it was! We were all checked in to the water birth suite by 7:30am — 12 short hours after I felt my first faint contraction.

Once we were all set up in the room they gave me the go to do some walking. At 8:15am with Tom by my side, we set out to do some laps through the halls. We made it around the loop twice before the contractions got too intense.

At this point they were painful and the doubt set in hard. I told Sarah I was pretty sure I was at my pain threshold. I could do this but I don’t think I could handle anything more. I hinted that I wanted an epidural. I pictured myself laying down in the bed with warm blankets as they took all the pain away. I couldn’t get that out of my mind.

Sarah and Tom encouraged me. They reminded me of everything I said I wanted when we got there. I knew they were right but I just didn’t know how much longer I could go. Just then, Karen came in and asked me to give the tub a try.

Alright, yes. Tub.

I stripped down, climbed the edge of the tub between contractions and lowered myself into the warm water.

Oh, my, goodness… the relief. The relief! The instant I got in the water I felt myself relax. Melt.

I bobbed until I felt a contraction coming. I grabbed the edge of the tub with my head down, totally focused. This time though, the sound I made was different.. softer. Nothing felt as intense as it was before.


Tom was right there and he rubbed my back and encouraged me. Hearing is voice and having his touch was absolutely everything. He was right in my ear reminding me that every single contraction I made it through brought us closer to the delivery. He’d be here so soon.

Not long after I got in the tub, at 9:10am, my midwife Karen came back in to check me.

9cm. 9CM!?

I couldn’t believe the way things had progressed. Was it really almost time to push?

At this point though, my water bag was still in tact. Karen asked if she could rupture it and I agreed.

As she turned around to get ready, I was hit with a contraction that took my breath away. Right in the middle of it I felt a burst.

I watched as a speckled yellow cloud made it’s way through the water around me. I couldn’t talk because my contraction was so strong. Tom didn’t say anything either because he thought maybe I had peed and he didn’t want to bring it any attention. (So thoughtful, isn’t he? :])

Finally, my contraction ended and I was able to get the words out — “I think my water just broke!”

Indeed it had!

As soon as Karen saw the water, she advised the team to get the bed ready. There was meconium — baby had pooped — in the amniotic fluid and now it was in the water. This is one of the only reasons they have you get out of the birthing tub to deliver baby.

Tom held me as I made my way back to the bed.

At this point I wasn’t upset about leaving the water. It did what it needed to — I was to the point of no return and the only thing left do to now was bring this boy into the world.

I got to the bed at 9:37am. At this point I was feeling it all and let me tell you, it was painful. I bounced back and forth between determined and focused and scared and doubtful. The encouragement from the room (Tom, nurses & midwife) really kept me going.

At 9:50am my cousin Danielle arrived to root me on, too. Oh man did I need it. I was just given the green light to begin pushing. I remember saying “Nooooo.” though my contractions, and I know there was a point when I “hit the wall.”

I felt a contraction coming on and I didn’t even want to push. I wanted to be done. It hurt. I felt like I was never going to get through it. I wanted so badly to stop. I was filled with resistance and pain.

As much as I wanted to stop though, I could feel my body continuing on. It was doing it, with or without me.

During my next little break between contractions, I got SUPER focused, super determined. I had to. I remember thinking the only way out of this is through. I had gone too far to turn around and it’s so close to the end. My nurse and midwife recalled this moment with me after the birth because they both saw the shift. This change was everything I needed in the moment, and it felt very spiritual.

It was time to push again but this time around I seriously gave it everything I had. Everyone, in unison, cheered, “PUSH!!!” And boy did I push. I gripped my legs with more power than I knew I had and every single bit of my body was alert and working. It truly felt like I was trying to push myself inside out.


One more contraction coming and my God did I push. Then I felt it. I felt him leave my body.

I did it. He was here.

At 10:01am they lifted up my son and placed him on my chest. Everything was in slow motion. Seeing his face, his little body.. he was so tiny and instantly I thought, “he’s perfect.”


I looked for Tom, he was crying. I glanced at my midwife and her smile was profound. My nurses… just joy. There were tears and smiling and joy. We were all sharing this incredible moment of life and all I could think was, “Thank you. Thank you God for this little miracle.”

Looking back at my delivery now, I realize how short it actually was. From the moment I got to Woodwinds to the moment I was holding him was only three hours. I only pushed for 15 minutes.

Everything seemed much longer than that.

As for medication and intervention? We didn’t use any. The best part was there was no episiotomy and I didn’t tear. The water got me through and we did what we set out to do making my recovery much more smooth.

As I reflect, I realize what a different experience I had with Thomas George, everything about it. It also reminds me of what I first wrote on the post of TG’s birth.

Nothing has felt more true.

I'm convinced that going through labor and delivery is the most intense, 'in the moment' experience of all time. You can read and plan all you want but you can never truly prepare for what will play out. I'm convinced that women are incredibly strong and heroically brave and I'm 100% convinced that every single women's experience, no matter what it is, is absolutely perfect and beautiful. What a miracle.

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Mikko James Jokinen
November 12th | 10:01am
7 lbs. 1 oz. | 21 in.

Thank you to all of our family and friends near and far.
We felt all of your prayers and well wishes.

The BUMP -- Mikko James

From Hawaii to Arizona to Minnesota -- I've been on a mission to document my bump progress every two weeks. It's been so fun to look back and see the growth each and every month!

I think 22 weeks is where I really “popped” but I can’t tell for sure!

8 Weeks

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“40 Weeks” — holding Mikko James (one week old) on my due date!

“40 Weeks” — holding Mikko James (one week old) on my due date!

I gained a total of 31 pounds this pregnancy… it sure felt like more! My hubby likes to remind me that I lost all of my muscle tone… lol. It’s true!

Oh well, I’m too busy with baby snuggles to think about any of that right now.
Busy with baby snuggles and grateful beyond measure for my body that created this miracle.

Transverse to Breech to Head Down :: Our Story at 37 Weeks

I went into my 34 week appointment feeling good. Big, but good.

We had our appointment routine down and it was typically the same. I made our appointment for 8am. I met with the midwife. They weighed me, asked me questions, gave me some paperwork and away I’d go.

Week 34 was a little different.

“Well, it feels like baby is transverse.”, my midwife said as she was palpating my stomach.

My head quickly flicked her direction. “Wait, what?”

“Transverse.”, she said, explaining his positioning within my womb.

That wasn’t what I was expecting but after she said it, it made sense. I felt his kicking in different places, it was extremely uncomfortable and what I thought was a round little butt I was feeling when I put my hands on my tummy was actually his head.

Well, darn. I needed to know more!

She said it wasn’t a big concern at 34 weeks and he’d most likely flip head down in the coming weeks. I was given a Spinning Babies website to check out and she advised me to start doing some exercises to encourage him to flip.

As some of you know, I was really set with Thomas George’s birth plan. Although empowering and perfect, it didn’t go the way I’d wanted at all. This time I was going in with the same birth plan — my number one goal of experiencing an unmedicated birth.

This? Transverse? This threw me for a loop.

I jumped online and read different articles. I did my spinning babies exercises everyday. On the couch, upside down, stacked pillows, inverting, ice packs.. Tom even talked to my pubic bone a few times!

36 weeks

36 weeks

We went to our 36 week appointment and I was hopeful. Two weeks had passed and he moved around so much that I couldn’t really tell what end was what. I felt a little lump I prayed was his butt in my ribcage but didn’t want to make any assumptions.

“Breech.”, was all she had to say this time.

He had made his way from transverse to completely breech.

My heart sank. That wasn’t the news I wanted to hear at all. She assured me that it was good he was moving and that he still had time to turn.

I wasn’t feeling confident but she let me know I was a great candidate for external version. She gave me a card to call and schedule an appointment with the OB downstairs.. we were going to try to manually flip this baby.

Before the consult, they wanted to gather as much information as they could for the OB. They had me schedule an ultrasound at 7:00am the morning of Halloween.

I went to the appointment without much thought, got home and Tom headed into work. When they called with the results, it was the last thing I was expecting.

They told me that my amniotic fluid was low, really low. They thought maybe my water broke and had been leaking. The mentioned cord compression and I started to cry. I wasn’t feeling the best anyway. The nurse said they wanted me to pack a bag and get there ASAP — they needed to monitor and check me. She told me to prepare to stay for a couple days.

I should have taken a couple deep breathes before I called Tom but I called him right as I hung up with the nurse. All of the emotion came up when I heard his voice and I could barely talk between the sobbing. Poor Tom! He came straight home.

We arrived at the Maternity Care Center in Woodbury midday and they had my room ready. Right away they hooked me up to an IV and started to monitor baby.

When I met with the OB Dr. later in the evening he had very few options. He said even if my amniotic fluid went up, there is no way it would get high enough to be in normal range. If it didn’t change at the morning ultrasound we’d have to get baby out via c-section.

Our other option, if the fluid went up a bit, was to attempt the version to flip baby. If it worked, he wanted to induce me so that we could get baby out of the low fluid. If it didn’t work, he still wanted to do a c-section.

Worried about the baby, the compression, the c-section — I was a mess. Thank goodness for my midwife who brought me tissues and promised me I had options. She said to wait until morning before I get too concerned and we’ll go from there. One thing at a time.

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Going to bed that night, I was almost 100% positive we’d be meeting baby the next day. From the way the morning started to how the day was ending just wasn’t what I was expecting at all, I just tried to go with the flow and believe it was all playing out as it should.

Tom arrived the next morning at 6:45 and we headed to our appointment downstairs.

I laid on the table, they gunked up my belly and she started the ultrasound.

Instantly the tech looks at me and says, “So you did have the version.”

Tom and I locked eyes, “No, no we didn’t do the version.” I quickly responded.

“Well baby is head down. Yep, there is his head, far down into your pubic bone.”, she said.

With angels singing her words rang through my ears and I couldn’t help but smile the biggest smile in the world! He flipped in the night!

We were so happy knowing we didn’t have to do the version. There were still so many things up in the air and we didn’t want to get ahead of ourselves but the fact that baby was head down meant a lot and it just really set the tone for the day.

When we got the final results from the ultrasound we couldn’t believe it. My amniotic fluid levels went from a 2.3 to a 7.9 overnight. (We were hoping to get them to a 4 or 5). The nurses and midwives celebrated with us in our room and when the OB walked in that morning he said, “It’s magic!”

Magic, prayers or the will of baby boy Jokinen — we got discharged a few hours later.

With baby’s head down, I’m so much more comfortable. I’m feeling so ready to knock out the final weeks at home and prepare for a water birth. (Hey, anything is possible and I believe that even more now!)

So grateful for all the well wishes and prayers from family and friends all over the US! We love you guys so much! Thank you, thank you, thank you!

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