Today I Turn 30

Today I turn 30 years old.

It's wild, really.

What a decade.
A wonderful, challenging and adventurous decade.

If I had to describe the past 10 years of my life with one word it would be discovery.

I've changed and evolved so much as a person. Grown, I suppose.

Not to get all groovy right away but when you think about it, honestly, getting older is such a gift. As I reach this significant age I don't feel worried or sad, regretful or upset. I actually feel quite the opposite. I'm excited -- ready -- it feels so fresh to me! Kind of like getting to start a new.

A brand new chapter.

As I think about the last 10 years, all the big stuff comes to mind. The highlights.

- The first thing, for sure, always -- the people. So many amazing people have shaped these years and honestly made them worth living. Strangers that have become family. My nut farm and friends, co-workers and acquaintances -- all of these relationships that have come to be with a little twist of fate. I appreciate and love them all more than anything else.
- The 8 different cities across 5 states (Minnesota, Nevada, Arizona, Texas and Hawaii) -- I've moved 14 times and we're making that 15th move in 2 days!
- An engagement and and a marriage. Something I never thought I'd do. (Love you more than anything, Tom!)
- I grew and birthed the cutest darn human alive, Thomas George. He's everything.
- When it comes to my job, I've lived many different lives. I've stood at the desk of Four Seasons, in the OR during surgery and behind the bar serving drinks. I've provided massage, cut hair and answered phones. Big companies like Zappos and Stryker to small offices and Yoga studios. I've been a cashier at Whole Foods and have spent so much time at the front desk I could do it with my eyes closed.
The hardest, most fulfilling position I've ever had though, is my current gig: full time MOM.
- I've traveled. My heart just wells up writing this because I love it so much. From New York to Colorado, Japan to Italy and a lot of places in between. I really really hope this is just the beginning!
- I quit smoking! (Honestly, I'm so proud of this).. and come to think of it, I stopped drinking too and that's been good for me right now.
- I had a pretty intense bucket list and for a big chunk of my early twenties I chipped away at it. Things like sky diving, surfing and learning how to wakeskate. I checked off some must see concerts like Jack Johnson, Jason Mraz, Bob Dylan, Tori Amos, Rebelution and the one and only Stevie Nicks. I ran a half-marathon, did a Ragnar Relay and lived in a yurt. I've taken a million and one classes on a million and one subjects and don't plan on stopping that anytime soon!

I'm sort of done with having a bucket list BUT I'll definitely stay curious and continue to try new things.

It's so fun to reflect on the highlights but they aren't all that made my 20s. 

As think about it, some tough stuff comes to mind too. Would these be considered the lowlights?

All those moves and changes were exciting, but not always easy! Moving can suck. No other way to put it.
- In the past decade I've been broke, I've been lonely and I've been homesick. (Seriously)
- At one point, during my mid-twenties, I had stage three adrenal fatigue. Once I found out what was going on it took me well over a year to fully recover. That was by far the most challenging thing I've ever been through.
- When you change jobs like some people change their underwear you can feel a little bit like a failure. I felt it, I felt it a lot and often pondered what on earth I was doing with my life. (Still do wonder, just minus the failure part.)
- Speaking of failure... I failed. A lot. I had many ventures and ideas that just never saw fruition. I spent a lot of time and I spent a lot of money that ultimately felt wasted. (If you learn something, nothing is wasted, btw.)
- Lastly, I swear to you, I was my own worst critic. During my early 20s, I never felt smart enough or pretty enough or flexible enough or rich enough blah blah blah etc. etc. --  Oh my goodness, that is, by far, the greatest part of heading into my 30s. I feel so confident, or maybe it's that I just don't care what people think as much -- either way, it's freeing.

I hope in 10 years when I'm 40, I'm still blogging and taking pictures -- documenting life as a mom and wife, creative and traveler. 

It's an empty slate and I don't need a wild life to fill it.
Just family, friends and an awareness of the beauty in every small moment.

Photograph by Jessica Holleque

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20s vs. 30s -- Ten Things

1. Bedtime, anything past midnight >> 8:30... 9 if it's a wild night!

2. Grey hair! Dudes, I have grey hair. What is going on.

3. I seriously watch so much HGTV it's not even funny.

4. Bye thongs. Adios! Au revoir! Ciao!

5. My phone has morphed from party pictures to baby pictures. So. Many. Baby. Pictures.

6. Hair. Nails. Makeup. >> Mom pony. Little chapstick.

7. Anywhere but Minnesota, anywhere. >> Minnesota is, hands down, my favorite place to be!

8. Swimsuit - Itsy bitsy teenie weenie >> full coverage mom suit. I like it, that's the thing!

9. Self conscious >> Kinda just don't give a bleep

10. My parents don't get it >> My parents know everything

Priceless Moments // Photos by Jessica Holleque

Everyone always tells you how fast time goes once you have a baby.

I remember towards the end of my pregnancy the days felt so incredibly long. It was like I was going to be pregnant forever and all I wanted to do was meet him.

Then he arrived and the first three months of his life felt even longer. The endless cycle of nurse, change, eat, sleep, repeat.

And then BOOM, just like that, he turned 6-months old.

My pregnancy had come and gone. Those first few months, a memory.

Deep down I know every moment is fleeting.

I know that my 6-month old will soon be one year, then he'll be two and before I know it he'll be starting school.

We have a lot of living to do from now until then and I know it's going to go fast. 

That's why I am so determined to document our life.

I can't hold on forever but with these photos come memories that will last a lifetime.

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Jessica is an incredible photographer. I've been a fan of her work for a long time. There's so much truth and aliveness to her photos. Once I had Thomas George, I knew we had to get on the other side of her camera.

It's wild because I've actually known Jessica since we were really young. Our mothers were close friends while we were growing up and her family is sprinkled in many of my earliest memories. How cool for us to be reconnecting in this way!

My sister Leah and niece Coco joined us for a warm summer evening in St. Paul, Minnesota. Our babes did so good during the entire session and our images turned out better than I could have imagined. Honestly, I can't wait to do this again.. next time with the hubby too!

As things change and our children grow, I will truly treasure each moment -- precious and priceless.

All photographs taken by Jessica Holleque.
You can find more of her work below: 
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July 2017 // Trip to Minnesota

I grew up in a small town north of Duluth. I love my family but couldn't wait to get out of there.
The month after I graduated high school, I left, determined to live anywhere else.

It's funny what 10 years will do. 

Minnesota, the Iron Range particularly, is my absolute favorite place in the whole world. No matter where I go or what I do it'll always be home.

July in Minnesota is perfect*. Everywhere is buzzing with that summertime energy. It's cool at night, warm during the day and the days are gloriously long. 

We arrived the very end of June and Tom and I hit the ground running. We were visiting family and friends every single day! Tom was only there for 10 days and we had a lot of people to see and  a lot of things to do!

*Yes, I write this acting like mosquitos do not exist.

I had so much fun playing with my camera while we were home. I tried my best to take it out as often as I could and I'm so grateful for the moments that I captured along withe the incredible moments that I'll only have in my memory.

Time with all the grandparents...the best. My mom and dad, Tom's mom and stepdad, Tom's dad and stepmom, grandma and grandpa Briski. The time spent with my sisters; Leah, Coco, Angeline, Danielle.. my little squishy Coco Mae head and my nephews Brandon and Owen. My aunts, uncles, cousins and friends that I actually got to spend time with! AMAZING! So amazing.. 

The baby showers, weddings, baseball games, parades, lake days, shopping days, breakfast dates, hair cuts, lunch dates, co-op runs, Tommy's tri, CHIPOTLE and an awesome trip to Lakeville.

These are the best moments. The moments I live for. They are busy and crazy but there is help and love and lots and lots of laughter. These are the moments that are most important. Time with family.

I got to spend the entire month of July in the midwest. How incredible is that?

The day my parents dropped me off at the Duluth airport to head home - I cried. I cried because I had the best month. I cried because how darn lucky was I to be able to do that? I cried because I missed my husband and Finn so darn much and I finally allowed myself to feel it. 

Things aren't perfect, gosh no, but I am one incredibly blessed mama.

I live a life that can never, ever be taken for granted.  

First Trimester -- Thomas George

The first trimester.

We found out we were pregnant at about 4-5 weeks. Once we had that positive test, it started to get real... there's a baby on the way!

7 weeks pregnant with little baby J!

- My favorite part of the first trimester was telling people we were pregnant. Getting to call my parents, Tom's parents and my sisters, cousins, family and friends was SO MUCH FUN. Everyone seriously freaks out and cries and celebrates and... it's fun. I loved that part.

- It wasn't all laughter and celebration though.. in fact, I was sick the entire first trimester. It wasn't morning sickness, it was all damn day! From my first appointment to my second, I lost 8 lbs! I couldn't eat and was choking down crackers trying to get by. That part is tough because you look normal and you aren't really telling people yet but you're SICK but not sick... lol, a struggle for sure. 

- I remember longing to eat a real meal, a BIG meal.. any kind of FOOD. There was a small part of me that even wondered if food would ever taste good again.

- Pregnancy and mamahood wasn't something that was really on my radar, so when we found out we were pregnant I had a little bit of a freak out... I knew ABSOLUTELY nothing about pregnancy or babies. It was time to hit Amazon! Books on books on books. Pregnancy books, birthing books, breastfeeding books. I went a little bit crazy but I also had a lot of fun reading and learning about the future of my body and my life.

- I wanted a home birth and Tom wanted a hospital birth so we compromised on a birth center. I had an OB and two midwives that I met with and I really liked them. We had our first appointment at 8 weeks and it was SO COOL. Seeing the little blobby human and hearing his heartbeat -- let the unbelievable moments (along with the million appointments) begin!

- One of the other biggest things for me in the first trimester was exhaustion. I was SO TIRED -- so I slept.. and slept... and SLEPT like a rock. I pretty much took a 2 hour nap everyday after work. I'd get home, collapse on the bed and sleep. At the time I was teaching a Yoga class and had to get a sub for my classes. I felt like a big, useless slug. So much sleep, so much rest.

- The first trimester is so trippy because I didn't look pregnant. I felt sick and I felt tired but the craziest thing was just knowing I was growing a human. All day everyday I just kept thinking, "I'm pregnant. I can't believe I'm pregnant. We're going to have a baby. A baby." LOL -- seriously, ALL DAY LONG.

- Another one of my favorite parts of the first trimester was getting BOOBS! My boobs got big right away and I loved it. I finally filled out a swimsuit and I looked great in a tank top. It was short lived but a wonderful experience I'll remember forever. Haha

- Another big thing I experienced in the first trimester was doubt. Could I be a good mom? I would look up to the sky a lot when I was on my walks and I would ask in all seriousness, "Are you SURE you want me to do this? You trust me to be a good mom? Ok, if you think so."

- Oh, another thing. Hormones. The crying started in the first trimester. If it was silly, I cried -- sad, I cried. I was smiling and joking one minute and then crying the next -- my hubby, poor thing, did so good with me.

12 weeks pregnant and on my way to the second trimester!

- MOM BRAIN. It's so real and I had it so bad. It started right there in the first trimester and oh. em. gee. I was running into walls at work, I couldn't finish a sentence, and I would seriously just lose my balance trying to walk. It was absolutely nuts and weird and I thought my mind was jelly for good and I would never be the same again. (It went away, thank goodness!)

- I didn't actually buy any maternity clothes in the first trimester. I stuck to skirts and shorts and tanks.. I went up a size in the scrubs at work for comfort. It was really all about being comfortable!

- Something that changed for me right away that I thought was really weird... every single time I brushed my teeth, I gagged. It lasted my entire pregnancy. I couldn't brush my tongue at all and even just brushing my teeth was weird. 

- Just a few short days after telling my sister I was pregnant, she had a surprise for ME.. she was pregnant TOO! We were due only a week apart. I think I needed someone very close to me to go through the entire experience together. Thank goodness for Leah and Coco!

- By the end of the first trimester, I felt like I had gotten really big... which after experiencing 41 weeks of pregnancy, is a hilarious statement. ;)

- The whole thing felt so slow-fast. Each day felt long but it, of course, went by so quickly. All I know is I was grateful as all can be that I was growing a healthy little baby. We couldn't wait to find out what we were having! 

Baby is the size of a: LIME
Length & weight: 2.13 in. & .49 oz.
Mama's cravings: NONE -- could barely choke down crackers!
Weight update: 0 lbs. ~ I lost eight and gained it back so I'm at a 0 lb. weight difference in the first trimester
We're feeling: Excited, nervous, proud and mama is a bit sick! Can't WAIT to find out if you're a boy or a girl.
Highlight of the first trimester: Telling our family, friends and co-workers! THE BEST.
Energy levels: Slug status.
Habits: Legs up the wall every single night, started taking a prenatal vitamin, not really exercising, but I want to!
 

Read more of: 
The Pregnancy Diaries

That Positive Test -- Pregnancy Diary Part 2

Honeymoon April 2016 -- Corniglia, Cinque Terre, Italy

"It's a boy!", said the mime as Tom and I were strolling by.

We were honeymooners, walking a cobblestone path through Venice.

He caught me off guard and I got offended! I know I had eaten an entire pizza and way too much gelato each day but did I look PREGNANT? 

Thanks a lot dude.

Tom and I joked about it because:
A. Mimes aren't even supposed to talk
B. I was definitely not pregnant

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We got back from a magical 14 days in Italy.

As we adjusted back to being home, I just wasn't feeling the best. "Jet lag," I thought.
"Too much pizza and gelato, maybe. I'm not used to eating like that."

BUUUUUT .... it wasn't going away. So I bought a pregnancy test.

It was a lazy Saturday morning and we were putzing around the house when I decided to take it.

I unwrapped the stick, peed and quickly set it on the bathroom sink. I went and laid on the bed thinking over and over again, "No way, just... no way."

I sent Tom in first. He didn't have to say anything because when I saw his jaw drop open with a look of complete shock, I knew. It was positive and our lives were never going to be the same.

We were going to have a baby.

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I don't know about any of you other moms out there but I felt like the first woman in the world to ever see a plus sign on her pregnancy test.

I felt excited, nervous... like.. ok.... what do I do now?

Nothing had changed and yet it felt like everything changed.

It felt so wild.. but I'd soon find out that that is the only way to truly describe this whole experience. 

Wild.

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Continue Reading...

The Pregnancy Diaries

Long Before Baby -- Pregnancy Diary Part 1

"I'm never getting married.", I said. And I meant it.

All throughout my teens and early twenties I was pretty set on never tying the knot. 

Having kids? Nope. It really didn't even cross my mind as a possibility for my life.

There were too many places to go, too many things to see and to be honest my motto was: I do what I want.

The untraditional felt best for me. I didn't want to just check boxes and I never wanted to do something a certain way just because that was how you are "supposed" to do it.

For the majority of my twenties, it was just me. Everything I owned fit into my car and I liked it like that! Life was good.

Theeeeeeen came Tom.

It was 2013, and I was finishing up school. I was ready to get out of Las Vegas and do something new. Having lived on Maui briefly, I always wanted to go back. Hawaii became my biggest dream.

I was doing my research on making my way back to the islands when I decided to reach out to Tom. We graduated high school together in 2006 and after school he lived on Maui for three years. He had returned to the mainland and was living in Arizona when I sent him a Facebook message.

"Hey Tom, it's been a while, hope all is well! I'm thinking of making my way out to Hawaii, just curious, why did you leave?"

He wrote me back and let me know he missed living there everyday. He gave me some really good insight and after reading his message I landed on his profile.

Tom was tall and so darn cute. He just got back from Europe! "What a cool dude.", I thought. He was running races, snowboarding and traveling all over. Hmm.

We wrote messages back and forth for a couple days just catching up... it had been 8 years since we graduated! Tom mentioned that he was going to be in Vegas THAT WEEKEND and asked if I wanted to grab lunch.

That was that. We went to lunch and I swear to you, that day, I knew I was going to marry him.

February 26th, 2013 -- Tom flew to Vegas to have lunch with me. Little did I know, two years later, he'd be my husband!

Falling in love with Tom was so easy. He made everything better. He was fun. He made me laugh like no one else in the world and he made me want to be the best version of myself.

I fell for Tom fast. (Who was I?!)  It was tough for me to let my guard down and yet I just trusted him. He loved me and I loved him, so much. 

When Tom got down on one knee a year and a half later, in Hawaii, I said yes. I don't think there was anything in the world I was more sure of. It is funny how things happen and it's funny how things change.

As for babies? It was a very distant thought although it strangely crossed my mind. We were both pretty unsure and there were no absolutes. When it came up we decided that would be a bridge we would cross WAY LATER. 

First, travel!

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Thomas George -- Birth Story

Birth Story -- Thomas George

I'm convinced that going through labor and delivery is the most intense, 'in the moment' experience of all time. You can read and plan all you want but you can never truly prepare for what will play out. I'm convinced that women are incredibly strong and heroically brave and I'm 100% convinced that every single women's experience, no matter what it is, is absolutely perfect and beautiful. What a miracle.

Having a natural, vaginal, unmedicated birth was my greatest desire from day one. I felt so confident in my body's ability to not only grow a healthy human for 9 months but to also bring that healthy human into the world free from medical intervention. I read so many books and sought support from other moms that had the experience I was aiming for. I had my birth plan written out and printed. In my mind, it wasn't going to happen any other way.

The story of Thomas George

We took this picture right before we left for Castle. My last bump picture at 40+5. 

It was 11pm on New Year's Day when we arrived at Castle.

My contractions started the day before and were finally averaging 5 minutes apart. I had tested positive for group B strep earlier that month and was told to go in a bit early so they could start me on antibiotics.

When I arrived they put me through triage and checked me for the first time. Oh. My. Goodness. That was so painful and I was only 2cm dilated! I had to be at least 5cm before they would admit me. What a bum! My doula Katie arrived and at midnight we all started walking the halls, stopping every few minutes to breathe through contractions.

Over six hours later, at 6:30am January 2nd, they finally admitted me. At this point I was in labor. My contractions were intense and consistent. Lots of deep breathing, really loud, really long groans. It was all happening, finally, and we were thinking we would be meeting baby J very soon. (Ha!)

By early morning I was getting tired but still felt determined. The pain was hardcore but I had amazing support and my body was totally doing it. Following my birth plan, Katie filled the tub with hot water and at 7:00am I took the absolute best bath of my LIFE! I soaked in the birthing tub for over an hour... breathing deeply and trying my best to relax.

Being monitored while breathing through the early contractions. I hadn't been admitted yet. I can't tell if that's a smile or a 'holy crap this hurts' face.

It was about 8:15am when I decided to go back to bed. They installed a birthing bar and I labored in many different positions over the next few hours. Primal noises, primal movements. With every contraction I needed to hold on to something with all my might: Tom, Katie, the birthing bar or in a few instances, Tom's hair (sorry love!).

Hour after hour after hour.. chugging along anxious to get this show on the road and even more anxious to meet our baby boy.

It was 9:15am when my midwife arrived. I had been laboring at Castle for over 10 hours! She checked me and I was dilated to 7cm. That was great, except my water still hadn't broken... they talked about breaking it but wanted to give me one more round of antibiotics first. So we had to wait... power on, breathe and wait.

By 11:45am I was dilated to 8cm (almost there!) and my contractions were SO STRONG. I was in a lot of pain now that I think back but in the moment I just did my best to get through one contraction at a time. I was still so determined and at this point and I was feeling strong and capable. I just kept thinking that he had to, had to come soon.

From 12pm-3pm I labored on but stayed right there at 8cm. What? No progress... I was 16 hours in, 8cm dilated but not making progress. I was starting to lose steam. It's so hard to really describe any of these moments but if I could, in this moment, READY would be the word. I was so ready. Doing my best to breathe but in reality, at this point, I was hollering (at the top of my lungs) through contraction after contraction.

Finally at 3pm they gave me one more dose of antibiotics and my midwife popped my water bag. We waited. Nothing. Stuck. I was stuck at 8cm.. then my cervix started to swell.  

My midwife came in and sat down. She said they truly wanted to honor my birth plan but she also wanted to give me her honest opinion. My cervix was swelling and I wasn't dilating past 8cm. She really wanted to give me some pitocin to move things along, but it was up to me. Pitocin, she advised, would intensify my labor so she suggested an epidural along with it so I could rest, labor down and prepare for delivery.

In all honesty, I was in some serious pain and I was beyond exhausted. I talked to Tom and Katie and it didn't take me long to decide. "I'll take the epidural along with the pitocin.", I told her with confidence.

For a brief moment I was bummed, this was not the plan. This wasn't the plan at all but that feeling was so short lived. It felt like centuries until the Dr. arrived. I truly don't think I could have made it through one more contraction. He gave me the epidural at 4:15pm, 17 hours in, and I fell to the bed in total relief. The nurses covered me in warm blankets and I closed my eyes. There is no way to truly explain what I felt in the moment and I swear if I had the energy to cry tears of joy I would have... instead I drifted off to sleep silently thanking God. 

So I napped. A glorious, glorious nap as my son labored down.

At 6:00pm I finally hit 10cm. When they let me know it was almost time to push I really couldn't believe it. His head was right there, I could feel it! I was doing it, we were doing it and after all the waiting our baby was almost here.

With a cue from my midwife, at 6:45pm, I began pushing. At this point I couldn't feel anything except for a little pressure. I had my husband holding one leg and my doula holding the other... I looked around and I swear there were 20 people in the room. A contraction would begin and they would all say in unison, "PUSH!"

This part felt very easy to me, and when the time came I'd just give it all I had. Everyone in the room would shower me with encouragement and compliments (they must have known how bad I needed to hear it, lol). I'd relax and then repeat.

I had been pushing for an easy 45 minutes. I felt his head moving down, and it was nearing the end. What a trippy, trippy feeling. We were about to meet our son!

In that moment I glanced over at Tom and I knew something was wrong (the monitor lost his heartbeat). As my midwife performed a swift episiotomy, the whole room yelled, "PUSH!!!". I closed my eyes and pushed with absolutely everything I had and at 7:29pm on January 2nd, my son was born.

Just moments after meeting our son for the first time -- 7:29pm on January 2nd!

There he was. I watched in slow motion as they lifted his little body up and unwrapped the umbilical cord from around his neck, his arm and his leg. 

The nurse placed him on my chest and I looked up at Tom. Oh. My. GOODNESS the emotion. THE EMOTION. I'm not sure how long we stayed like that. Time stopped. I was so happy and so exhausted, grateful and absolutely depleted. I did it. We did it. I followed about 30% of my birth plan but none of that mattered. In that moment I felt like the strongest woman in the world. He was here, our son was here!

When nurse came over to check him she noticed something was wrong with his breathing. There were so many people everywhere and at this point and I was so out of it, shaking uncontrollably. I must have fallen asleep as they took him because that is the last I remember from the delivery. 

The first picture I took of Thomas George. January 3rd, 2017.

I woke up around 1:00am in a dark room, Tom was sleeping on the couch next to me. From chaos to complete silence. I was hurting all over but I had to see my son. "What was going on? Where was he? Is everything ok?", I played over and over in my mind.

I made my way to the door and flagged down a nurse, she got a wheelchair and without hesitation brought me to the nursery.

There he was. My little blonde boy with fluffy hair. He was all wrapped up and the only word I can think of to describe him was perfection. He was perfect and standing there in the nursery, in the middle of the night, I completely lost it. Tears of uncertainty and tears of joy.

Nursing, holding, kissing and praying. Everyday.

The nurse explained that when the cord wrapped around his neck he lost oxygen causing him to poop. He then inhaled and swallowed that sticky, tar like substance, meconium. They were able to get it out of his stomach but it was still in his lungs. They put him on oxygen and told me they'd update me in the morning.

After doing his blood work they decided they wanted to keep him in the nursery for a while. It looked like he had developed an infection and needed antibiotics. It was so hard to see his little body all hooked up struggling to breathe. The hardest part was the IVs! They had to continuously start new ones because Mr. Strongbaby would knock them out. He had them in his hands, his feet, his arms and his legs. Eehk. Also, like a lot of babies, Thomas became a bit jaundice. Under the light he goes! At this point we really had to rely on faith and each other. I prayed a lot and we did our best to stay positive.

I was a patient at Castle for the first two days and began my healing process. I worked with the lactation consultants to established breastfeeding/pumping and we spent as much time with Thomas as possible.

After those two days, it was time for me to be discharged. We had to go home. We held off until late that evening and when it came time to go, I totally lost it. (I did say this was the most emotional week of my life, right?) How on earth was I supposed to go home when my baby was still there?

Fortunately, the nurse taking care of Thomas that night was absolutely fantastic. She gave me the biggest hug and told me it was an honor to care for our son. She gave me the nursery number and said to call her anytime for updates. Tom and I locked hands and headed to the car. It was so hard and I cried all the way home.

The week chugged on. Pump at night, early rise, Castle all day, home, shower, bed, repeat.

It wasn't long though, and things started looking up. Our son kept proving that he is incredibly strong. Soon he was off oxygen, out from under the jaundice light and he was breathing really well. By the end of the week he was off all monitors and the only thing keeping us there was him needing to finish the full week of antibiotics. 

The morning of January 10th was one that is hard to describe. The skies were blue, the mountains were clear and the sun was shining. It was a perfect Hawaii day. We headed into Castle with our carseat in tow, our Thomas George was going home!

We made our rounds, hugging up everyone like crazy! We packed up and out to the car we went. 

We did it! We made it.. and our healthy little family was finally going home.

Baby Thomas with his Daddy

TG Under the Jaundice Lamp. Squishy Face!

Stronger and Stronger Every Day!

As Much Skin to Skin as Possible. <3

They Took Such Good Care of Him!

The Best Day! TG Goes Home!

January 10th, 2017 -- after 8 days in the nursery, we are finally heading HOME! 

Thank you, Tom, for being everything that a father and husband should be. You didn't miss a beat that week. Sharing every single experience and being so strong when I couldn't. The love you have for your family is undeniable. You'll always be my greatest blessing. We did it! What a miracle our son is. Grazie mille, my love.

Thank you to my doula Katie. I honestly, honestly don't know what I would have done had you not been there that day. Thank you for being there and being the sister that I needed so much. From the beginning all the way until we were holding Thomas. Thank you, Katie. 

Thank you to our families and friends that were supporting and encouraging near and far. Sorry for the scare! We love you guys so much and are so lucky that you love Thomas the way you do. Thank you, thank you.

To the insanely brilliant mama tribe that continues to share their experiences with me, THANK YOU! I need you guys more than you know.

The biggest thank you to my midwife and all the nurses at Castle Medical Center. We had a phenomenal experience. So personal, professional and genuinely caring. Every single one of you are so appreciated. 

Thomas George, we are so lucky that you are here and that you are healthy. We seriously love you so much. Now, let the biggest adventure of our lives begin! <3

Thomas George, 6 weeks old. <3